Twilight: A Love Story

So I have been reading blogs like "Mark Reads Twilight" and "Reasoning With Vampires" and they both side with me in that we think Edward is creepy and really not romantic at all. If I had someone saying that my blood was their "own personal brand of heroin" or "You shouldn't be around me because I'm dangerous or "I was curious and watch you sleep at night" I would back off from this person because A. He's a stalker B. He wants to eat me. Then again Bella is not really the sharpest tool in the shed. So I drew this... as a representation of what a normal person would do.

Meeting Alexisonfire

I've been a fan of Alexisonfire since I was 14, so seven years ago and I got to meet most of them! Except Jordan/ratbeard the drummer who wasn't around. :'( 

First of all the thing I won from the radio station was a soundcheck package where we could see the band practice and get the kinks straightened out waaay before the concert. It was so rad. My sister and I were standing right in front of the stage and I was content with just watching them play. I never knew they would actually come down to meet us!

So when Wade came up to us first I was so in shock that my brain was not processing any coherent thoughts. I was just thinking "oh my goodness you are so cool!" So I couldn't figure out what to ask. I forgot I came prepared with a marker, my CD booklets and my camera to take pictures. Wade seemed really shy but he's so awesome.  I eventually tracked him down and got a picture with him.

My sister and I then turned around, and Dallas Green was right behind us with a group of three girls :O Never in my life did I think I would meet him! So instead of going to hog him we decided to turn around and talk about how cool the experience was.

In the softest, voice we hear 'Hey. I'm Dallas.' We turn around and shake his hand. My brain was like OMG OMG OMG OMG its Dallas Green, the best singer (in my opinion) in the world, and he fully secured that title last night with his bluesy version of The Northern. Fortunately I was able to form coherent sentences and sparked up a conversation about him getting kicked off early as City and Colour at Sonic Boom, and he replied, "I KNOW! What happened is the band before me played too late, and then Weezer and Rise Against were worried about playing on time so I got squished in. I had four songs left and I couldn't play them. Its weird because you guys in the audience don't know there's a guy trying to rush you off stage, and I wasn't pissed off because I couldn't play, I was mad because you guys paid money to see me and I couldn't play for very long."Such a sweetheart. I wanted to grab his arm and look at his tattoos because they are so colourful! My face is just pure joy meeting him.

Then I met George, and he was just as cool. You expect the guy to be crazy because his energy on stage is just insane, but he was really cool and asked us questions about school and if we were pumped for the show. He's just a big sweetheart. We didn't talk to him long though, but he was so cool and laid back.

Then we met Steele the bassist. His movember stache is probably the best ever. He was talked to Rayanne and I for a long time, which was really cool! Apparently the last time they were at the Edmonton Event Centre some douche security guard named DIESEL put Dallas in a full nelson because he jumped down to the barricade area to sign someone's shirt. Dallas said, "yeah that sucked! They kicked me out into the parking lot too."

Then we saw some girl holding an Alexisonfire Frisbee, so Steele started to talk about how he and a friend invented 8 ways to throw a Frisbee. I said I didn't believe him as a joke, but then he said "Lets play Frisbee!" And he grabbed one from the merch table and we played Frisbee. The throws were super crazy, I still can't figure them out. Then the SONiC employee told us it was time to go. :'( It was seriously the coolest day in my life. My favourite band ever, and I got to meet them!!

My Pokemon Adventure

This summer my boyfriend and I decided to embark on a Pokemon adventure. Which reminded me of another Pokemon adventure I've had. Since my family wasn't wealthy I couldn't have a Gameboy when almost everyone could. Everyone at the park would be trading and trying to catchem all, while I just observed and pretended I knew what they were experiencing. 

Now I was a compuslive liar when I was little. I used to tell kids I was from Australia and speak in a cute Australian accent, I used to tell my teachers my temporary tattoo was actually real. So when I watched the boys play Pokemon on the park and brag about their pocket monsters I felt the need to lie. 

I however didn't want to seem like I was lying so I replied, "I don't know, my Mom doesn't want me to bring my Gameboy to school." The boy convinced me to tell my Mom to let me bring it, so I was trapped! 

And then I had an idea. An awful idea. Amy had a brilliant and awful idea. 

She remembered that a boy in her class had ALL the Pokemon, and he left his Gameboy and games in a purple Crown Royal bag, AND he would always sling it around the back of his desk chair. 

I devised a sinister plan! I knew right before my school's afternoon recess that there was a classroom library session. I would just ask Mr. Thompson if I could use the bathroom right before the library session was over so I wouldn't have any second thoughts. I then would go to the classroom, take Brandon's Gameboy and put it in my back pack. Then just run from the library to recess, without risking bumping into Brandon.

It was SO easy. Noone could have crafted a plan so easy. I knew teachers trusted me and thought i was a wonderful student, and for the most part I was, but inside was a little kleptomaniac who really wanted to be a rebel. I knew people wouldn't suspect me at all. My teacher didn't even hesitate when I asked if I could use the washroom.

I felt alive! And there it was, the Crown Royal bag with Brandon's Gameboy and games. 

I took the bag, looking around if anyone should sneak up to the classroom and catch me red-handed, but everyone was in their classrooms learning. My plan was going all well. I took it out to the hallway and stuffed deep in my backpack. 

I then went to recess thinking about how happy I would be to actually have my very own Gameboy. I would tell my Mom that I found a lost Gameboy at the park and returned it to the office, and our office had a 1-month return to the founder policy. Meaning if the individual didn't claim their item, the founder of the object could keep it! I would just tell my Mom I got the Gameboy today. I carried on swinging life away like I just won the lottery. 

When I came back from recess everyone was asking if I had seen Brandon's Gameboy. I played it cool and said no. I didn't care if he was devastated. I was now a legit pro thief and didn't have to be nice to anyone anymore. 

There was, however, one major flaw in my plan. I was so excited that I had a Gameboy that I really wanted to tell my best friend about it. I decided that telling her that I took Brandon's would throw off her tattle-tale skill that she was so adept at using. So I trusted her enough to tell her that I found a really old Gameboy (Brandon's was new) in a gross plastic bag at the park. 

She immediately said, "It must be Brandon's! You should tell him!" At this point the whole class was having a discussion on the state of Brandon's Gameboy. People were giving him ideas as to where it went, who might have taken it etc. At no point did my teacher point out that my trip to the bathroom seemed suspicious so I was happy about that. However my best friend kept on telling me to put my hand up to let people know I found a Gameboy. 
The class wouldn't drop the issue. It seemed like 20 minutes long and people were still discussing the state of Brandon's Gameboy. I then started to worry that this would turn into a search party. I imagined the whole class going through everyone's locker then their backpacks to see if Brandon's Gameboy was in there. I was legit freaking out! Though I had to be calm, but I had to think of a good lie to tell if I ever had to confess. 
Then the unthinkable happened. My friend said "If you won't tell the class about the Gameboy you found I will." Then she put her hand up. WHAT!?!?!??!?!??! I thought we were friends!!! I thought to myself!
I then put my hand up and told her to put hers down because I was going to tell the class. Now, I couldn't tell the class I found it in a plastic bag because in fact; it was in a Crown Royal Bag, so I decided on the spot to try the next best thing...

My class was astonished by this find. I reassured people that I didn't know it was Brandon's so Mr. Thompson ordered both Brandon and I to go to my locker so I could give Brandon his Gameboy back. 

I returned his Gameboy begrudgingly and my best friend gloated at me by saying "See?! I told you that it was Brandon's." The thing about Brandon is that everyone loved him. It was like until Grade 9. So if anything bad happened to him everyone would be on his side. Happily everyone bought my lie. They even assumed the Kinder-gardener who was notorious for causing trouble stole Brandon's Gameboy. My teacher made a lecture to the class to keep their things inside their desk because anyone can steal stuff.

I never tried stealing his Gameboy again. In fact my impulse to steal stopped after this. I figured the risk was far greater than the reward. SO DON'T STEAL! OR YOU'LL HAVE AN EMBARRASSING STORY LIKE THIS TO TELL! 

The Attack of the KLEENEX BOX!!!!!!

Mighty Muffin National Geographic

This is the Blue-Bodied Sharpener. You can tell by it's blue casing. Here he is in his natural environment, the desk space of a university student. They love to walk around, devouring pencils for sustenance. He is however being watched by a common desk predator, the Kleenex Box.

 OH! The Kleenex box has initiated the attack. How will the blue-bodied sharpener react?

 The Blue-bodied sharpener attempts to flee from the Kleenex box.

The Day I Almost Died

When I was three-years-old my Mom took us to my Auntie Julie's for a visit. These are the events which I remember very clearly.

My right lung almost collapsed and the doctors thanked my Mom for bringing me in so quickly because they said I could have died. So at three years old I cheated death. My Mom even bought me a new doll after the choking incident, and I really liked it. Which is surprising because I hated dolls so it must have been pretty awesome.

 P.S. The first cartoon took me 4 hours to do because I was using Microsoft Paint and a crappy mouse. Sorry if its difficult to read the writing! New tablet sooooooon! 

 

               Yours truly, 

The Mighty Muffin